i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize