So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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