You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How's work?
Spinning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
whose ass print is on the piano?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
