it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
