omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
