wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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