If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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