he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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