Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
this will be a night to untag.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
