You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
