hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
