i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Congratulations! We have a period
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