Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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