White coat. Heels.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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