the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
birth control should be required to get into college
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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