I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize