one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
