Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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