Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
