It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
