All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
