that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
