Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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