You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
