Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
