Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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