I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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