The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize