I want to make a zoo with you.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
His nipple licking is glorious
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