i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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