I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
These tits shall not be calmed
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
