I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
