We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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