you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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