what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
