end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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