you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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