Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize