I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
