Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
