So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
