I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize