so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
