Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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