I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
