if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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