Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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