I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
