At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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