margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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