no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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