my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
