He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
