So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
