he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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