Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
