No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
