can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have aggressive nipples.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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