I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
