If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
