Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize