Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
