Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
