I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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