Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
