You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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