i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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