imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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