I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
