im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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