some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
