did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
