First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
