Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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