Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
