my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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