I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
